As always, SPOILERS
Transformers Rescue Bots, Episodes 4: "Flobsters On Parade"
Chase: Heatwave, you've seen the poster in the chief's office.
Blades: Oh, you mean the one with the kitten hanging from the branch.
Chase: No, the one that says there is no "I" in "team".
AHJDKSAHDKLSAHEW BLADES WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE!? YOU ARE THE MOST GODDAMN ADORABLEST AUTOBOT EVER. NEVER STOP BEING ADORABLE.
"Flobsters On Parade" is the weakest episode so far, but it's not a train wreck. The general moral focuses on Heatwave not being a team player because he's a selfish jerkass. He's suffocating under this whole "mindless robot" act and feels he is not appreciated. Mostly because Kade is an impatient clod. He skips out on the parade like an emo and spends a good portion of the episode watching the damn thing until he decides to be a team player. Sadly, the storytelling this time around isn't as effective. Heatwave gets precious little moments to himself, so I'm not convinced when he changes his mind. We needed more scenes with him musing over this. The ending also feels rushed. So the only way to group the lobsters is to chase them with a bigger lobster? Uhhh, okay. Is it just animal instinct to
Rescue Bots further proves the creators are on some magical drug trip. Introducing: flying lobsters. Why the hell not? Robot dinosaurs, gushing lava; I wonder if the writers have a bet amongst themselves to make the most fucked up shits to serve as obstacles for the Rescue Bots. No wonder Optimus dumped them on this island. I'm not entirely sure if this makes the Prime universe better or worse in either case, but for some reason, the pure crack in this series amuses me. I hope Rescue Bots gains popularity; this is some goooooood smack here.
It's really the little moments I enjoyed overall. The recurring Lobster Man (The Ice Cream Man in Lilo & Stitch share your pain), Doc Greene and his Helium-inducing squeaky voice, Kade nearly losing it when he tries to call Heatwave, etc. Boulder gets some neat little scenes as he marvels at nature and the exciting prospect of joining a parade. Chase is sadly understated thus far, but I imagine someone like him wouldn't really hog the scene that well. About the only thing that irritated me was Frankie; what a little snob! Cody's fine, but really, is this kid the only competent person around? He's the one who ultimately finds the solutions necessary to recover the lobsters. Yeah yeah audience surrogate and I'm confident that the show will allow the other casts to solve their own dilemmas instead of letting a ten-year-old do it for them. I kinda think there is a bit of justification, but this is mostly personal headcanon: Cody is the most like his father (who usually manages to lend a solution) and I like the idea that he'll eventually be a cop if not purely to complete a themed set with his siblings.
What it lacked in character, it more than makes up for it with character moments. This series is brimming with charm. Rescue Bots seriously needs more love.
OUT OF FIVE
AND A SIDE OF BUTTER WITH THAT: Lobster and Technology parade. Yeah. In any other place, this would be the most random shit ever, but it totally makes sense here. Griffin Rock is an island, so of course there would be an abundance of seafood. Canon also indicates the entire area is a testing ground for new technologies. Nice fridge brilliance. Still random.
EGO OWNED: "The parade of technology is the best, especially my dad's float which did I mention I get to ride on?" Yeah, well, you're not friends with four giant alien robots and living with a family constantly worshiped by the entire island.
DOC IN DISTRESS: This is the second episode in a row where Doc Greene needed rescuing during the intro sequence. Will the next episode produce a hat trick?
"FLOBSTERS:" Seriously? That's just fawful.
"LEAST IT'S NOT LIFESTOCK AGAIN:" Wait, again!? You mean something like this has happened before? O_O Was Doc Greene also involved? Dude, he's got potential means to revolutionize the world, but somebody needs to keep an eye on this man before he blows up the goddamn island.
SPRAY ON PANTS: Dude, too much information.
SINK OR SWIM: After Dani aggressively pulls one lobster in the pool, it floats back up again in the background when Cody is talking to her. It's a nice little detail.
BEST LINE: "Simon did not authorize that last movement." PFFT, Chase takes "Simon Says" seriously.
WORST LINE: "Hey! Watch it, you selfish shellfish." Owwwwww, I think I got punched in the guts just from hearing that line.
Transformers Prime, Episodes 29: "Orion Pax: Part 3"
I wouldn't say Part 3 is my personal favorite after the last two episodes delivered some exceptional stuff, but it's still amazingly solid. This whole trilogy is not only better than the "One Shall Rise" three-parter, but strongly opens Season Two. "Darkness Rising" did the same, but it took me a year and a second viewing for me to realize that. "Orion Pax" is a solid, well-paced special; a perfect beginning, middle, and end. It also handled emotional residue and action very well, opting to use the latter when it was needed and not just to pad time. Part 3 is pretty damn intense. Arcee fights off the Insecticons to give Jack time to get to the Vector Sigma, but it only gets complicated when he has to face Scraplets (which I think was a nice callback when I thought they'd be one-shot wonders). Meanwhile, Orion Pax effectively rebelled against Megatron, but he's still stuck in the Nemesis as a sitting duck.
The standout scene is the Vehicons physically abusing Optimus just for shits and giggles (and pent up frustrations; if you were given a chance to beat up someone you hate with no repercussion, wouldn't you take it?). Orion, not yet a Prime, doesn't even fight back. He just lies there getting his ass kicked as he tries to plead with them to solve matters peacefully. It's honestly a heartbreaking scene and a bit uncomfortable to watch. It's a great moment and a very telling scenario on the major difference between Orion Pax and Optimus Prime. I felt something for Optimus here after an entire season failing to do that.
Which is why it saddens me that this episode wasted a perfectly good plot.
To make my point clear, I'm going to link to 's rant here: [link]
She said everything I agree on, only much more eloquently. Optimus Prime, to be put it frankly, is boring. When he lost his memories and became a Decepticon, it was a marvelous moment for him to gain conflict, a piece of something to develop him as a character. He could have wounded one of his Autobot allies as a Decepticon only to discover what he has pulled when he returns to normal. Maybe Megatron gives him a taste of the Dark Side, have Jack fail to restore Optimus and force Orion to become a leader by learning the natural way - I don't know! Just give him something to enhance him as a character. Fixing him up without any form of consequences does nothing for him his character and only belittles it. He's an archetype; acting the way he does because the trope expects him to. He's bland, he's boring, he solves everything because he's the wise leader. There is no character. Transformers Prime is obviously trying to write an epic tale with complex characterization, but seeing stuff like this isn't lending them any credit. The show is falling back into its own traps again; pulling something awesome only to counter it with something awful.
I do feel less apprehensive than before on the series' direction because really, the trilogy is just that damn good, especially as a standalone piece. Taken as a whole, it suffers and that is a goddamn shame.
AND A HALF STARS OUT OF FIVE
"I MUST KNOW, WHO AM I:" Probably the most emotive Optimus has been since ever.
CHILD OF EDEN: The glowy white rings of Vector Sigma keeps reminding me of that game.
PICKY EATERS: Why didn't any of the Scraplets attempt to eat Jack's suit? It definitely had some metal components. Well, they did zone in on the Vector Sigma, so maybe they go for the juiciest pieces first. Incidentally, I liked that one little scraplet biting Arcee's leg. Ha Ha, what a trooper!
FOR BEST ENTRANCE, ADD HAM: There needs to be a drinking game every time someone steps out of the ground/space bridge because it's always so goddamn dramatic. Although Optimus side-jumping into the ground bridge is pretty cool.
IN A SINGLE BOUND: Arcee really loves to jump whenever she transforms.
EYES WIDE SHUT: Orion has his eyes closed when he shoots the Vehicons after discovering he was armed. It's actually cute.
I GOT A CRICK IN ME SPINE: Megatron punches Optimus to the gut, then cracks his neck in arrogance. It's a blink-and-you-miss it scene, but I liked that little subtly. It says a lot about Megatron's confidence without hamfisting it.
JUST INCASE YOU FORGOT WHICH SIDE THEY'RE ON: The camera pans to the Autobot logo at the end of the episode. It's ridiculously cornball.
BEST LINE: Sadly, nothing that sticks out.
WORST LINE: "Megatron be gone." OH GOD THE CHEESE
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Chess Piece (A Danny Phantom Fancomic):
An AU Danny Phantom comic. It's been canceled, but for those morbidly curious to read this convoluted train wreck, the link is here.
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