TRANSFORMERS PRIME SEASON ONE
Though I do have reviews in DA, they're old and I've changed my mind on some. Follow my reviews (or look for older ones) on the Toonzone Blog. I reviewed every episode except Episode 20 to 23. Yet anyways. I'll eventually get to them in the future.
EPISODE 1 - 19, 25 - 26 REVIEW HERE (NOTE: Season Two reviews are there, too. They're more condensed then the ones here): [link]
EPISODE 24: (which is not listed on the link above) [link]
TRANSFORMERS PRIME SEASON 2 AND RESCUE BOTS SEASON 1
TFP Episode 27 "Orion Pax: Part 1" Review
TFP Episode 28, "Orion Pax: Part 2" Review & TBR Episode 3 "Hotshots" Review
TFP Episode 29, "Orion Pax: Part 3" Review & TRB Episode 4, "Flobsters On Parade" Review
TFP Episode 30, "Operation Bumblebee, Part 1" Review & TRB Episode 5 "The Alien Invasion of Griffin Rock" Review
TFP Episode 31 Operation Bumblebee, Part 2" Review & TRB Episode 6 "Cody On Patrol" Review
TFP Episode 32 "Loose Cannons" Review
TFP Episode 33 "Crossfire" Review
TFP Episode 34 "Nemesis Prime" Review
TRANSFORMERS RESCUE BOTS, EPISODE 8: "FOUR BOTS AND A BABY"
OR "Blades is SO the mommy."
See that? That's Blades feeding the Robo-Baby.
Excuse me, I'm exploding from the D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
God fucking damn it, this episode is super adorable. It's not barfing rainbows and candies or anything, but it's mega cute and there was much gushy and happy. It didn't exactly go as I hoped it did as a couple of aspects could have been tinkered with. I love the interactions most of the cast has with the baby. Blades' interaction, coo, and adorably high opinion of his bond with it melted me into a goddamn puddle of love. Though I honestly felt he'd be the most nervous before he eases himself (he got into the parental scene fairly quickly). Chase and Heatwave are exactly what I imagined; the former nurses the child in the most straightforward, and logical. and safest way possible. Heatwave can't stand it, but secretly warms up to it. The only one who's really cut off is Boulder. He likes the baby, but we don't get a whole lot of time between the two. That's a shame because out of the four Bots, I think he'd be the quickest to providing the love and nurture a child needs. I really wished Heatwave's connection with the kid also occurred more organically. He dismisses it, briefly shows one soft spot moment, and then continues to disregard it until the very end when he rescues it.
They should have nixed the pipeline incident halfway through the episode. Those five minutes really could have added more time in developing the characters and the Robo-Baby. I know this series has to fill their "rescue" quota, but they had one in the very beginning. I'd rather the rest just be about the Robo-Baby. Hell, if you want to get technical, the ending involves rescuing the baby, so there! The pipeline mission feels loose with only arbitrarily and convenient connections to the rubber ducky and the windmills.
And surprise, surprise, Doc is out of his goddamn mind. While I did criticize the series' need to stick to their "rescue" formula, I am relieved they didn't bring in a twofer with their other storytelling tradition: "Doc Invents Something That Totally Screws With Everyone". I thought the cycle would be the next major hazard. The baby gave them a hard time, but it didn't malfunction. It performed exactly what it was suppose to do and any irresponsibility is on Cody and the bots. But Doc still needs to cut down on the goddamn weed. He preaches on about responibility, but he's letting a ten-year-old test drive an invention that, knowing this guy's record, may or may not work. Likely on the "may not" category. Dude, I know he's part of the only family of First Responders in the whole friggin' island, but...that's messed up. Cut it out, man. This island is doomed.
EDIT: Also, I forgot to add: What was the point of the Robo-Baby? He wanted to study how newborns think and feel, but studies have been conducted before, so he's really not adding anything we already know. God, only Doc would waste three million dollars inventing something this useless and this absurd.
EDIT: Ya know, concerning the matter of babies and Cody, I wonder what did happen to the Burns' wife/mother? Did she die? Divorce? On an extended vacation? It doesn't affect the plot or anything, but just curious. My personal headcanon: She died in the line of duty. What would she be? Well, everyone else is a cop, fireman, pilot, and...an engineer rescuer? I like to think she was in the medic as an emergency medical technician or something of that sort. ^^
Otherwise, it's a decent episode. It could have been better, but as it stands, it's very feel-good. Did I mention it's super adorable? I mean, look! Heatwave and baby! D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Goddamn it, I now I want mega adorable super cute fanart of Heatwave and Blades with Robo-Baby. Fucking hell, I wasn't planning on shipping these two!
AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE
"Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."
" Sharp rocks at the bottom?"
" ... Bring it on."
IT LEAVES A TRAIL OF LIGHT BEHIND: That cycle Doc invented looks like TRON's light cycle.
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED: For that matter, the robo-baby's head looks like the Captain Planet logo.
AUTOMATIC FLUSHERS: So it's not just toilers; sinks have them, too. Oh Griffion Rock and your future tech and convenient need to drive the story.
RUBBER DUCKY, YOU'RE THE ONE: Megatron would be proud. Yesssss.
SHADOWY TWIST: Why the hell can the windmills cast a shadow from a TV monitor?
BEST LINE ( Sing to the off-key, robotic tune of "Rock-A-Bye"): "Rock-a-bye baby, on top of the alternative power source. When Boulder climbs up, the Robo-Baby may lose elevation precipitously and ICAN'TWATCH!"
WORST LINE: ""Hey there, Baaaabysitter's club." Why does this girl always have the worst puns?
TRANSFORMERS PRIME, EPISODE 35: "GRILL"
Or "It's a Goddamn Clip Show."
This is a clip show. Nothing important happens. Fowler is under tribunal after the events of "Nemesis Prime" and he spends the next twenty-two minutes advertising the characters. This isn't an episode; it's a half-hour commercial. Did Hasbro put them up to this? I know they have to sell toysTransformers is always about selling toysbut this belong either on The Hub's website as a special treat for newcomers or a Season Two DVD extra. Why is this here? What is the point? I might have given "Grill" credit if it didn't resort to status quo. The military thinks Optimus Prime is dead (having recovered the fake one) and they question his alliance to the US (when the faker attacked that army base). All Fowler had to do was show the real one off and get his side of the story. It takes him the entire episode to fix that mess because he's too busy overloading the series' exposition quota. The government doesn't even bother to send someone out to see if Optimus is alive back in the Autobot's base despite it being issued under government orders! This is the single most dumbest, cheapest plot device to extend an episode ever.
There are better ways to waste your half-hour. Go read a book. Write a poem. Do the dance of joy. Perform community service. Spend time with your family. Masturbate. Play a video game. Walk your dog. Go hiking. Save the environment. Paint the town red. Spin around in circles. Stare at the wall. Smack your head on the side of a building. Anything is better than this. "Grill" sucks. The End.
OUT OF FIVE STARS
There is no goddamn point.
Instead, here is an AIM transcript between me and when we both watched "Grill" for the first time. Sadly (or amusingly) note how angrier and insane we get.
Tavalya: Hello Fowler. It's time for your prostate exam. BEND OVER
Tavalya: Dress for the occasion? He's wearing a fucking suit.
Tavalya: Maybe they mean military dress?
Neoyi: I was thinking, too.
Tavalya: Does he have a rank?
Tavalya: Starscream flying in the credits will be the best part of the episode.
Neoyi: He said he was a former Army Ranger.
Tavalya: Ahaha, the camera is on low battery.
Tavalya: So this whole thing is going to be about how Fowler's superiors are dumbasses?
Neoyi: Looks like it.
Tavalya: ... Can't we come up with something better than "superiors are morons"? That's just a frustrating cop out source of conflict
Neoyi: Well, so much for the clip show acting as a possible guide for newcomers. Though I guess it does provide exposition.
Tavalya: THEY ARE NOT ORGANISMS, OH MY GOD
Neoyi: Oh GOD, this is Exposotion The Episode.
Tavalya: I SWEAR EVERY TIME THEY REFERENCE SOMETHING BIOLOGICAL I HAVE A CONNIPTION.
Neoyi: Exposition The Episode. *whines*
Tavalya: How the hell can they make this go on for twenty fucking minutes? What the fuck is the point of this?
Neoyi: I assume this is just recapping all 30+ episodes. I don't know.
Tavalya: Oh hey, STARSCREAM!
Tavalya: I'll take some more of that.
Neoyi: How the HELL can TFP succeed in making more pointless shit?
Tavalya: Because Hasbro is more concerned with the toy sales.
Neoyi: SHUT UP, MIKO.
Tavalya: What a lost opportunity to squish her.
Neoyi: OH GOD THIS IS FUCKING EXPOSITION
Tavalya: This is... something they should have saved for the web site to get new viewers up to speed.
Neoyi: WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS!? This is 22 minutes of advertisement. I mean, I know they need to sell toys. But... yes. This should be more of a special extra for DVD.
Tavalya: Yes! "Animated" had clip shows, too. They were only available online to introduce the characters to potential viewers.
Neoyi: This is literally 22 fucking minutes of special extra that should be on DVD, not an episode itself. There is NO reason for this.
Tavalya: What is this is ARGH
Neoyi: TFP, this is an entire waste of a goddamn episode.
Neoyi: Did Hasbro put them up to this?
Tavalya: Hasbro be trollin'.
Neoyi: Wait, "Arcee may be a bot of few words?" Since WHEN? She's not a chatterbox, but she's not Prowl.
Tavalya: Haha, Optimus got treed.
Neoyi: This is going to be the shortest review ever.
Tavalya: And there he is, in the arctic, drunk.
Tavalya: It just looked like Ratchet has a toaster in his shoulder.
Neoyi: "It's a clip show episode. Nothing happens. Exposition nonsense. One Star. The End."
Tavalya This infuriating.
Neoyi: Wait, how the HELL can they not know OP is not alive?
Tavalya: The central conflict is that the higher ups are fucking morons?
Neoyi: The base they're in is governmental OWNED! Just get a higher up in there and see it themselves!
Tavalya: Outside observers? WHAT FUCKING OUTSIDE OBSERVERS?
Neoyi: EU@()!@)(!O THIS FUCKING EPISODE
Tavalya: HOW FUCKING COVERT WAS THIS OPERATION? NOT AT ALL? AND DEAR GOD, WERE THERE NOT CAMERAS ON THE BASE? WHAT THE?
Neoyi: THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT KIDS!?
Neoyi: They don't know about kids. So I assume the base has no private cameras?
Tavalya: I assume the Autobot base doesn't, but wouldn''t the base on which Optimus and Nemesis fought? That base had no cameras? BULLSHIT
Neoyi: Different base. (NOTE: I had no idea what she meant at the time and assumed she was referring to the Autobot base, not the one from last episode.)
Neoyi: GOD, MIKO CLIPS
Tavalya: This is what hell must be like.
Neoyi: *bangs head*
Tavalya: wehk ofef lkwtzegJHB, welghwlghewt4egtzlhbwea
Neoyi: I just...I just need to bang my head.
Neoyi: WHY. IS. THIS. AN. EPISODE!?
Tavalya: Look at Miko, awed by DEATH.
Neoyi: It's a FUCKING clip show.
Tavalya: Talk about how stupid the new plot direction implied by this is.
Neoyi: TFA had this, but they wouldn't put up wit this kind of bullshit in the main storyline.
Tavalya: The fact that the conflict is coming out of STUPIDITY rather than the writers actually coming up with STORY.
Neoyi: I don't get it. Why can't they SEND a higher-up to find if Optimus is alive?
Tavalya: Yea, TFA had authority providing problems, but it went to their character. Not to DURP.
Neoyi: This is advertisement. This is the biggest exposition of the entire damn series and this damn series is already damn good at abusing it.
Tavalya: Why are we not trusting Fowler?
Neoyi: Toy sales be damned.
Tavalya: I mean, I should think they sent Fowler as their covert officer for a reason? ...Bullshit on Ratchet modifying the cabin.
Tavalya: Megatron is a cat? He always seemed more like a pug dog to me.
Neoyi: This is them attempting to make animation of Fowler in a suit during piloting his jet into canon. Why was it even necessary to add that as canon? (NOTE: Oh, god, what the hell did I write? What I meant was explaining in-canon why Fowler doesn't need a standard issue pilot outfit is completely and utterly unnecessary. Read my Sonic comment below, but don't try to explain your limited animation, guys. I already accepted Fowler-in-a-normal-suit-every-time-he-flies-his-jet. I'm not that anal to give a shit and I doubt most of the audience is either.)
Tavalya: Did anyone actually care about it?
Neoyi: I accepted that as part of the animation limitation.
Tavalya: I think we all assumed it's the same reason all the backgrounds are crap brown- limited budget. God, Fowler, don't tell them about Unicron. I can't blame them for thinking you're nuts now.
Neoyi: A similar incident occurs on the Archie Sonic comics: Sally in the early issues had different fur and hair color before she stuck with her default mode. A later comic explains how and why. SO not needed.
Tavalya: "I have seen the DEVIL! But I am totally sane."
Neoyi: Unicorn. XD
Tavalya: "Megatron helped defeat a unicorn." (NOTE: Somebody fanart this, please. PLEASE.)
Neoyi: Did I ever show you that fan gif of Unicron as a prancing unicorn?
Tavalya: Okay, I laughed out loud.
Neoyi: THE ONLY GOOD THING.
Tavalya: Oh yes, more clips of Starscream please.
Neoyi: THE ONLY.
Tavalya: I could stand a clip show of that.
Tavalya: Uh huh. Giggidy.
Neoyi: Screamy tied up. Something is wrong with me.
Neoyi: I really need to fanart "Starscream and The Girl".
Tavalya: Go for it.
Neoyi: It's just too good a concept to let go. Okay, maybe not, but I like it.
Tavalya: You're almost done with Discovery, right?
Neoyi: #9. That is. I'm not almost done. I'm close to the halfway point. If I finish Discovery or stop, I want to work on original stuff after.
Neoyi: That said, I will get to some RP stuff.
Neoyi: Before I at least do #10.
Tavalya: I am so tuned out from this episode.
Neoyi: I'd fanfic "Starscream and the Girl", but I'm not a writer.
Tavalya: I understand how that is from the other side. The things I'd draw, but I can't.
Tavalya: Megatron's big talking head
Neoyi: That sticks out in alt mode. Still stupid as fuck.
Tavalya: Ahaha. yeah. It's pretty damn stupid.
Neoyi: Yeah, because Optimus is boring.
Tavalya: Remember that time Optimus stopped a train? Yeah, I didn't. And tomorrow, I'll have forgotten again.
Neoyi: And what are the point of these Cybertronian items? Seriously, what is the goddamn point?
Tavalya: Whatever the writers need!
Neoyi: Wait, NOW HE CALLS? NOW OPTIMUS COMES!?
Neoyi: IT TOOK HALF AN HOUR TO DO THIS!?
Neoyi: To get Optimus here!?!?!?!
Tavalya: This is so a Michael bay moment. The battery is showing almost out
Tavalya: This... won't actually impact the plot AT ALL? WHAT?
Neoyi: Optimus shows up and all is solved. WHAT!?
Tavalya: That is a Shyamalan twist.
Neoyi: I could have forgiven a bit if the government DID disband them or Fowler was fired.
Tavalya: A complete half hour of NOTHING? WHAT?
Neoyi: ALL THIS FOR STATUS QUO!?!?!?
Tavalya: WHAT THE?
Tavalya: WHAT THE FUCK?
Tavalya: M. night has started directing episodes now.
Neoyi: It took 22 minutes to answer the higher up's question on whether Optimus is alive or not.
Neoyi: 22 minutes of pointless clip shows and exposition.
Neoyi: For this.
Neoyi: For something that doesn't solve anything.
Neoyi: That someone just seeing a giant robot is enough.
Tavalya: Well, at least we won't get conflict by stupidity but...
Neoyi: How in the almighty FUCK could this be worse than "Convoy?"
Tavalya: I barely remember "Convoy".
Neoyi: "Convoy" is my least favorite TFP episode.
Tavalya: If Starscream isn't in it, my mind discards it.
Neoyi: "Grill" may now be my least favorite.
Neoyi: I don't know, but I sure as hell didn't like it.
Neoyi: I'm so glad I watched it with you because there was nowhere I could have possibly contained my rage without yelling at someone.
Tavalya: That was... what? ARGH.
Neoyi: It was a DVD extra.
Tavalya: Why? Why did they need the filler space? They could have done a repeat. What was the point? Why does this exist?
Neoyi: I really think Hasbro pushed them to do this. But why couldn't they just make it a special? They did it for TFA and none the worse was worn. This is bullshit.
Neoyi: I'm going to continue coloring this pic of a pretty Prowl I drew.
Neoyi: He looks gorgeous.
Neoyi: There's birds.
Discovery (A Transformers Animated Fancomic): Read the entire thing here. More updated as the series progresses. Placed there for archival purpose.
Chess Piece (A Danny Phantom Fancomic):
An AU Danny Phantom comic. It's been canceled, but for those morbidly curious to read this convoluted train wreck, the link is here.
My Twitter: Follow me ramble in 100+ words or less here.
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