Rescue Bots - I Have Heard the Robots Singing

If you want to read my reviews for previous Transformers shows, click here for the first archives or here for the second archives.


PREVIOUS SEASON THREE REVIEWS

53. Land Before Prime
54. Big Game
55. Too Many Kades
56. Phantom of the Sea
57. Unfinished Business
58. No Place Like Dome
59. Bugs in the System
60. Switcheroo
61. Bot-Tastic Voyage
62. Quarry's Quarry
63. Did You See What I Thaw
64. The Attack of Humungado
65. All Bots Great and Small
66. Time After Time
67. Pirates Ahoy
68. Turning the Tide
69. The Last of Morocco
70. The New Recruits
71. Rescue Bots Academy
72. A New Hero
73. Four-Legged Hero
74. Endangered Species
75. More Than Meets the Eye


SPOILERS DOWN BELOW!







"There's nothing stronger than land or sea
Than ties that bond a family"

Was it only five years ago
that I became a Transformers fantastico
Deluxe, Warrior class, masterpiece, and generation
KREONS, Beast Wars, Animated, MTMTE, the whole robot nation

Between that half a decade gap
I had a strange desire Hasbro needed to sap
What about a musical where the robots sang and danced?
I didn't think it'd happen, it's just not the kind Hasbro would fianced.

Then lo and behold I heard the news
Of a Rescue Bot musical caused by Doc's kaoroke ruse
They'll be singing and prancing like I'd always dreamed
Months of anticipation rose as I sat with a gleam

But though it's whimsical and lighthearted as can be
"I Heard the Robots Singing" has problems, you see
It dipped and dived and swerved and swished
But it's everything I still could have wished



Ohhhh, the Rescue Bots musical may be somewhat flawed
The pitch doesn't reach and the pacing is odd
But it's clear
There was love, sweat, and tears

Because that's Rescue Bots in a nutshell!

Sadly to say the actors aren't professional singers
I can excuse those who purposely refuse to be autotuned stringers
For example, Heatwave mostly talks through the score
Because it makes sense for him to be an angry, grumpy bore

The rest of the cast only meagerly delivers
Presumably Hasbro couldn't hire any imitators
What with 8 - 12 people at any given time
There's only so much budget Hasbro probably had the dime

Maybe I'm not one to talk
I sound like a deranged parrot squawk
But I would have love this episode more
If the choral hit the singing floor

Priscilla is an appropriate baddie, stealing Doc's machine to cheat
Once humbled, she's not so bad and anyhow, Frankie's got her beat
But who's she living with? A deadbeat dad, her kooky aunt, a dumpster in an alley?
I ask cuz' her mom exit stage left in the season  two finale



Ohhhh, the Rescue Bots musical may be somewhat flawed
The pitch doesn't reach and the pacing is odd
But it's clear
There was love, sweat, and tears

Because that's Rescue Bots in a nutshell!

The plot takes time to catch up
The first half is a relentless exposition cup
Blurr's relieved he's outta that strange island lot
Holy Crap, are those other robots in that shot?!



But that isn't say all its points were low
Chase's meticulous rule book solo was hilarious, yo
Boulder's cue has lovely impressionist art
And I had a goofy smile during Blade and Dani's part



But the best of them all is the lovely Diamond White
She's got that magical light
Cuz' damn that girl can sing, standing ovation galore!
And it ends with a heartwarming credit that made my heart soar

Ohhhh, the Rescue Bots musical may be somewhat flawed
The pitch doesn't reach and the pacing is odd
But it's clear
There was love, sweat, and tears

Because that's Rescue Bots in a nutshell!

Though it has its flaws, I asked and received
ATransformers musical; its goal it did achieved
Sure, the songs aren't too memorable and the lyrics cheesy
But I've seen far worse that's made me uneasy

I hope we have more of that robot singing vignette
My kingdom for a Megatron/Starscream duet!
Now that this crappy rhyming is at an end
Blades, take it away, my friend!




OUT Of FIVE STARS






SWEET, A village people reunion
Right here in Griffin Rock communion!



BEST LINE LYRICS:

DANI: "Right side Kade, you can serenade Haley, girls just love a man who sings."
KADE: "Good one, Dani, you get funny daily."

Well Kade, you have an excuse!
Also, apparently it's illegal to hunt moose



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