PREVIOUS REVIEWS

If you are curious on reading my previous TFP episode reviews, you can find 'em all in the Archive here.


PREVIOUS SEASON THREE REVIEWS:
Darkmount, NV
Scattered
Prey
Rebellion


As always, SPOILERS





Or "NEW FETCH QUEST LET ME FIND A JAR TO CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT."


Well okay this review is kind of late. Combination of a weeklong vacation and hours of logging into Mass Effect (yeah, I'm a bit late to the bandwagon. Also, I'm only in the first game, so no spoilers please.)

Honestly, the episode mostly got a shrug out of me (mostly, there's a couple of moments where I had FEELS.) That isn't a bad thing—it largely delivers and sets up the premise now that the chaos of the first four episodes died down. They got a new mission: find the Predacon fossils before the Decepticons do. They provide some lengthy explanation of how they got on our planet and while I actually love the idea of them being part of Earth's mythology, I find their origin and explanation to be needlessly exposition-heavy (oh, big surprise there) and complicated (something something clone of another clone and Autobots and Predacons fighting on Earth thousands of years back yadda yadda.)

I'm also glad they're going somewhere with the Ultra Magnus vs. Wheeljack dilemma. I found it intriguing back in "Prey", I'm glad they're sticking with it here. The promo for the next episode seems to indicate a big Wheeljack/Ultra Magnus focus in the next episode, so I ain't complaining.

Gooooood, Ratchet finally mentioned the damn Synthetic Energon. I'm aware of the upcoming plot synopsis for episode 8 ("Thirst") and other than my initial EEEEEEEEEEEEEing because it involves my TFP OTP—Knock Out and Starscream—scheming like the little bitches they are, it might finally resolve the fucking Synth-Energon subplot. Christ, this has not been touched upon let alone mentioned since the first season! You would think something like creating their own natural resources to ensure survival would have gotten way more importance than it really did, but hey, we apparently really needed our fetch quests.

The A plot isn't too shabby either. Optimus spends most of the episode advertising his new Fisher-Priced vehicle (I swear the first six minutes spans four of those camera-panning around Optimus' vehicle modes because we just gotta get that toy) while the primarily focus sticks with Smokescreen and Bee. Well, mostly Smokescreen, but that's okay because idiot kid isn't being a colossal idiot here. Logically, his little teenage ego is still rearing from the loss of letting something awesome like being a Prime go and OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT STOP VALIDATING HIS ACTIONS AND ACTING LIKE ALL HIS DUMBASS DECISIONS WERE GOOD THINGS. They only mention what Smokescreen did in "Rebellion" (an act I do agree with), but I came out of that scene as a desperate attempt to shoehorn Smokescreen's awesomeness. We need to praise his dumbass decisions because hey, look Ratchet and Arcee is! Especially Arcee! See? See? SEEEEEEEE?</i> I just feel like the show is emphasizing that whatever Smokescreen has ever done isn't stupid and rash in the least because at least the outcomes turned out okay or whatever bullshit the Autobots have been spewing trying to defend this kid. THUMBS UP. Gag me. If this is their way of saying Smokescreen is a candidate for Prime, then the Autobots are doomed.

That said Smokescreen realizes he's an impatient little twit when he asks Bumblebee why a skilled guy like him is still a lowly scout. Bee answers it's because he wants to and Smokescreen has a moment of clarity declaring, "Huh, well that's pretty noble, maybe I shouldn't be such a little shit and do the same, too." I'm not counting my eggs before they hatch, but this is a step in the right direction. Let Smokescreen realize he's been a turd for most of his appearance (although I really wish more Autobots called him out on his bull and NOT have the plot justify otherwise) and have the show fix it. Season Two crapped this up, don't waste it here either, guys.

ALSO THE ENDING PLOT TWIST IS AWESOME. I sort of saw it coming—Soundwave was in the battlefield and we all know that whenever this badass is out, the battle will at best come to a draw, at worst (or bester if you're a Con fan) the Decepticons will win. Why? Because Soundwave never loses; he could just be standing around not doing a goddamn shit and the Autobots will still somehow lose. You wanna know why? Because Soundwave is a BADASS. You don't mess with fucking Soundwave; he will OWN YOU just by staring. It's like eyeing the abyss, a badass abyss. Also Also Also, the way he won is totally fucking badass and a nice continuity callback to "Orion Pax, Part 1." If you remember there, Arcee invaded the Nemesis and managed to muck the place up until she nearly rammed Soundwave. Instead the badass motherfucker calculated at the last moment to open a ground bridge and send her packing. He does the same shit here, pausing at juuuuussst the right moment (and I like to think he did it on purpose, too because that's how he ROLLS) when Optimus is flying to grip the fossil, only for the ground bridge to open and BAM! Megatron gets it. YESSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSS. SOUNDWAVE IS A BADASS. We need to watch this in instant replay!


"Okay, so we're seeing Optimus flying towards the fallen piece of fossil."
"Look at the way he's flying, Bob; he's so determined, yet graceful. Like an eagle, riding a blimp."
"You got that right, Carl. Look at the sheer intensity of this moment, the arm stretching to grasp the piece, the sort of hopefulness that radiates the closer Optimus gets to it. Now this is the look of a Prime."


"Wait a minute, Carl, what is this? What is THIS?"
"I tell ya, that ground bridge snuck up on us at the last minute. Great play. Great strategy. Look at the timing. Optimus was literally seconds away from getting the piece. It's so well timed and manipulative, I swear it's somehow Machiavellianism."
"How is that Machiave—Carl, I swear to God, er, I mean that Soundwave is one smooooth player."


"Look at that, Megatron was anticipating this whole thing. Look at that son of a bitch just leaving his hand wide open to receive it as if he was confident this would happen."
"See, Bob, I think he did that because Soundwave is not only loyal, but will get him results. It's what…5-0 between him and the Autobots?"
"Not just the Autobot, remember the trouncing he gave Airachnid?"
"Bow howdy, do I. Needless to say, we were all surprised."
"Better him than whatzitface…Star…something."


"That's LORD Star something to you!"

Oh, and the show finally gets a new opening theme song. Meh, it's okay. There's a moment where Optimus punches Predaking in the face which is either cheesy or awesome or cheesily awesome—I can't decide.
OUT OF FIVE



BONUS OBSERVATIONS


BEASSSSSSSSST WAAAARS: I think I need to start making a drinking game every time they reference anything from quite possibly the best TF show ever (I'm still deciding if Beast Wars or Animated has my love.)

SMOKESCREEN YOU IDIOT: Smokescreen phase shifts Shockwave and then plays tug-o-war with the fossil with him. He doesn't phase the fossil out of Shockwave's hands despite past episode establishing that he can do that. Way to blow it, Smokescreen.

HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH YOU/OPTIMUS: Shockwave, hon, Megatron only thinks of your safety so he can bone you…and have the pleasure of taking down Optimus himself. …and boning him.

OH GOD WHY: We get a brief first person perspective of a Vehicon dying. Oh God, this is horrifying.

BEST LINE:

Ultra Magnus: Um…what's a kilt?

UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE

Optimus: Agent Fowler can at times be oblique. I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.

WORST LINE: "Come on, robots in disguise, right?"

I think I depleted any available alcohol I've ever had from hearing the cast either speak the episode titles or whatever unanimous catchphrase this franchise is known for.

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Discovery (A Transformers Animated Fancomic): Read the entire thing here. More updated as the series progresses. Placed there for archival purpose.

Chess Piece (A Danny Phantom Fancomic):
An AU Danny Phantom comic. It's been canceled, but for those morbidly curious to read this convoluted train wreck, the link is here.



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